The Best Decision I Ever Made

La vie en rose - that sums it up.

Seven years ago, I fell head over stilettos in love. It wasn't planned, and at first, it wasn't even welcomed. I was a PhD candidate near the end of a long, challenging, and all-encompassing graduate program. That was my life and I adored it. I played guitar to de-stress, I had a glimmer of a social life (my pub crawls were legendary), and I was lucky to live in the same city as my parents (their grandcat spent a lot of quality time with them). But if you didn't work with me, you may not have seen me too much over that period. Dating? Well, that was something for 30-year-old Marissa to worry about. I was on a mission and no man was going to get in the way! Cue my future husband.

Without going too much into the lovey-dovey story of how we met (I'll save that for a future book deal), let's just say that Andrew came along at an inconvenient time. At first, I was unsure about him. I didn't really give him the time of day. But luck (fate? destiny? the universe?) played a role. We were in Mexico for our friends' wedding, with plenty of chances to run into one another. Why was I so hesitant? Because he wasn't part of my plan!

A basic truth is that life does not follow our plans.

This is why I like to take a page from improv. Let's say you're on a stage with another player. You both have unique ideas about how the scene should unfold. How does the scene come together into one cohesive story? Hopefully you're with someone who listens, who is committed, and who is up for being silly. Then the missing piece of the puzzle is for you to be open to the scene. Maybe you want to go to the beach, but before you have a chance to act that out, the other player establishes that you're in a castle. What do you say to push the scene forward? If you stick to the plan in your head, maybe it's, "Don't be ridiculous, we're at the beach!". That makes for an uncomfortable and confusing scene. What if instead you said, "Indeed, pass the mead!" in your best Old English accent? Then we could find out that you are in a centuries-old rivalry with a neighbouring land and must work together to win some piece of extravagant metal (I would go for a diamond myself). By being open, the scene flows, moves forward, and stays playful. Maybe it wasn't the lazy beach day you were hoping for, but sitting on a thrown made of Louboutin heels can be pretty good too (hey, a girl can dream!).

Take this with a grain of salt because it certainly doesn't apply to every situation. Under the right circumstances, staying open to life can bring about wonderful surprises, even if they are disguised as an obstacle to our original plan. (Sorry honey, to call you an obstacle. You are my favourite obstacle, if that makes you feel better?).

There were a lot of reasons why it was clear to me that I should be open to this new relationship. Without giving too much of my future book away, I'll just say this, I was accepted for who I was and I loved the person I was learning about. He challenged me in all the right ways and he makes the best nachos for movies nights (the key to my heart).

Thankfully, I said, "yes, and" to this new chapter. It was the best decision I ever made.

Until next time, dream big, love fiercely, laugh often, and sparkle.