A Hallmark Movie

My life is full of cats, science, and love. If that's a Hallmark movie, then I gladly accept.

February, the signal that Vancouver's perpetual darkness is ending, cherry blossoms are around the corner, and oh yes, my anniversary has arrived too.

You see, 7 years ago, I made a promise to be kinder to myself. Dan Harris eloquently describes this mindset as "not being a jerk to yourself"(1).

Last week we talked about chatter, which consists of the negative thoughts bouncing around in our heads. These thoughts can lead to self-sabotage. I outlined specific strategies that we can use to combat this. Another important strategy is self-love.

"Self-love properly understood, not as narcissism but as having your own back, is not selfish. It makes you better at loving other people" (1). Self-love makes your life better and has a positive influence on those around you.

It sounds "cheesy" (and it kind of is), but in a world of chaos, cheesy is good. So when Dan called his self-love choice a "cheesy upward spiral", I was all for it. It works like this, say you are practicing self-love (maybe belting out Lizzo's "Good as Hell" in the car), then you start feeling better, so you act more kind towards others (putting on "Good Hang with Amy Poehler" and taking care of the dishes before your husband gets home), then your husband feels good and without asking (let me repeat that, without asking) takes out the garbage, which makes you feel good, and you continue on upwards.

What a dream. But is there science to back this up?

In his book, 10% Happier (2), Dan discusses a study by researchers at Emory University, showcasing that self-compassion can reduce stress. Dan doesn't provide a reference for the study, but this research savvy scientist found a relevant paper cited on Emory University's website. The researchers suggest that engaging in a compassion meditation practice may lower signs of stress when presented with stress-provoking situations (3), like delivering a speech in front of a silent audience (sounds like a typical open mic night).

Now, putting on our critical thinking hats, we need to take note of the small sample size, the limited scope (only 17-19-year-olds participated), and the lack of information on possible confounding factors. Most importantly, the signs of stress were not robust. The only statistically significant finding was that following the stressful situations, individuals with a high number of meditation minutes had decreased levels of interleukin-6 in their blood compared to those who had a low number of meditation minutes. Interleukin-6 is a "pro-inflammatory" signal released by our immune cells.

To get to the bottom of this, I realized I needed more scientific detective work (good thing I've been watching Dexter).

I found a systematic review with interesting data (is there any other kind of data?!). For those who don't know the difference between a systematic review and a regular review, a systematic review is a rigorous, structured method for analyzing the literature, whereas a review can be subjective and biased, not unlike a blog post (the irony is not lost on me).

In the systematic review (4), researchers found that more studies focus on investigating how self-compassion influences "psychological symptoms (e.g., anxiety, depression) as outcomes and underlying mediators, rather than mental health and well-being".

Their review of 113 studies suggested that self-compassion reduced stress and is related to fewer psychological symptoms. More work is needed to help us understand potential positive effects on mental health. From what is available, self-compassion seemed to improve overall well-being by helping to regulate emotions.

So, the scientific evidence supports Dan's cheesy upward spiral (thankfully, because I'm really looking forward to a clean apartment this week).

My journey of self-love began 7 years ago. Two months after I made that promise to myself, I met my husband. Call it timing, call it luck, call it the universe, all I know is that I became a better person by being kinder to myself and that changed everything.

I wrote a song for my husband called, "With You". It's about what matters most in this life, the people with you. When I performed it at Science, Stand-Up, & Song, one of the audience members told me that it, "seemed like some hallmark movie song with little relevance to the topic". (Good thing I've been practicing self-love, eh?)

I believe that science progresses when we all understand what is at stake. It's not just about data, publications, and accolades. We are conducting science to make this world a better place - for ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Dan defines love as, "anything that falls within the human capacity to care" (1). I am a scientist who cares, who loves what I do, and who wants to share that with the world. If sometimes that comes across as a cheesy Hallmark movie, then sign me up for the leading role.

Until next time, dream big, love fiercely, laugh often, and sparkle.

References:

1. Harris, Dan. “The Benefits of Not Being a Jerk to Yourself." YouTube, uploaded by TED, 07 Feb 2026, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuhIzO57HVk.

2. Harris, Dan. 10% Happier 10th Anniversary: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works—A True Story. Revised ed., Dey Street Books, 2024.

3. Pace, Thaddeus W. W., et al. “Effect of Compassion Meditation on Neuroendocrine, Innate Immune and Behavioral Responses to Psychosocial Stress.” Psychoneuroendocrinology, vol. 34, no. 1, Jan. 2009, pp. 87–98.

4. Wang, Jun, et al. “The Mechanisms Underlying the Relationship Between Self-Compassion and Psychological Outcomes in Adult Populations: A Systematic Review.” Stress Health, vol. 41, no. 4, Aug. 2025, p. e70090.